View: Theme Parks

My view on: Amusement Parks

Sunburns suck. I am now suffering from a medium case of sunburn. You see, I just went to Mt. Olympus. Well, not the real Mt. Olympus. It's not like I was kicking it old-school with the mighty pantheon of ancient Greece, even though that would be pretty neat...No, I went to the Mt. Olympus Water/Theme Park in the Wisconsin Dells. Good times, let me tell ya! Except for the aforementioned sunburn, of course. Red, irritated skin doesn't make for a good time, trust me. But that's what happens when you spend over 4 hours in the hot sun without a shirt. Curse you water rides!

Reflecting on this experience, and others like it, I started thinking about amusement parks. They're an integral part of our vacations, or other fun times. What is it about them that we like? What don't we like about them? What works? What doesn't work? How do they run things, and how could they do it better? All of these questions, and more, tonight at 10 pm! Wait, I changed my mind, I'll answer them now.

The first thing I wanna talk about is roller-coasters. I want to talk about how much I love them. Boy, are they great! Nothing makes you feel more alive and filled with adrenaline, yet keeps you relatively safe. You can keep your sky-diving and shark cages, I'm going with roller-coasters. But not all coasters are created equally. Some coasters ruin the fun that they are supposed to give people. In case you haven't figured it out, I'm talking about wooden roller-coasters.

Wooden roller-coasters are an artifact from long ago. They go back to those magical, black and white times of yesteryear. A fine gentleman would mosey down to Coney Island, with his sweetie in tow, and buy two tickets for a nickel a piece. Him and his lovely dearest would then enjoy a swell ride down the fantastical speeder deluxe. Then they'd get off the ride, 10 seconds later, and enjoy a bag of popcorn together.

Let's come back to the present, shall we? Wooden coasters are rough. They're bumpy, shaky, and they do their best to misalign your spinal column into a twisted mess. You're practically guaranteed to leave the coaster in worse physical shape before you got on. Yes, nothing says “exciting” better than a splitting-headache, with a side of nausea! Also, they're not quite as safe. All the wooden coaster will offer you is a seat belt, and maybe a bar that will rest on top of your lap. Hardly what I'd call “reassuring.”

Not only are they painful; wooden coasters are just plain boring, in this day and age. Wood has it's limitations in just how high you can build it. You won't be going very high, that's for sure. Don't even think about loop-de-loops or barrel-rolls. Those type of things make grandpa coaster feel confused and scared. You'd best stick to the ground, sonny boy! So, please, can we put wooden roller-coasters to rest? It's high time we did so.

Then we can get back to having fun, on steel roller-coasters. These babies are the real deal! They don't mess around! Steel coasters will give a shock to your system in no time flat. With them, you're going to shoot out of the lobby at an instant 60 mph, fly around the bend, climb up an agonizing 600 ft into the air...waiting...and waiting...watching everything below you grow smaller, and smaller. You're still waiting, trying to look past the people in front of you. You can't really see much, but you can kind of spot the top of the hill. It's really far ahead, looming like a mountain.

Finally, you approach the very top of the ride. Your heart sinks, as the momentum begins to dip forward. Then you catch a glimpse of the drop. HOW CAN IT BE THAT STEEP?

rrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

The coaster roars down the drop! You can't help but scream, as the air is dragged out of your lungs. Your eyelids blast wide-open, unable to process the shocking sight before you. Your breath comes back, but only in quick gasps, because you can't stop screaming. Your body leans in with the curves, instead of working against them, like in wooden coasters. Then comes the loop! Your whole world turns upside-down, as the sky trades places with the ground. You rush back down the loop, and go around the next bend. You come up to a barrel-roll, and your body makes a nice, counter-clockwise rotation. You might as well be a supersonic jet!

You come up to hill after hill. Your sense of gravity is quite distorted, as you feel your gastric juices float up inside your stomach, and then come back down. Again, and again, the zero gravity effects are relentless. Another turn, and a mad dash to the exit. Suddenly, hit the brakes! Your legs stick out straight in front of you, as the coaster screeches to a halt. And then...it's over. The rush of your life is complete, and you let out one final scream of victory. WHAHOOOO!!!

Steel coasters are amazing. Compared with wooden coasters, they are faster, are capable of better stunts, they're smoother, and even safer. Steel coasters usually give you an entire harness to strap yourself in. They cover your shoulders, stabilize your head, and provide a divider for your lap, so you won't be slipping out. They are a much better experience, over all, and the sooner they phase out wooden coasters, the better off we'll be.

Roller-coasters are just one type of experience that an amusement park offers. If you want to see the rest of the park, you're gonna have to walk. You're gonna have to walk a lot. After being in an amusement park for most of the day, you'll swear that you've just run a 10 K. It is so exhausting! Your feet will be begging for mercy in no time.

But you know what? That's a good thing. We all need more exercise. Most of the time, exercise isn't that tempting. But there is no better incentive to keep going then to know that you're one step closer to that awesome ride. Go ahead, walk around a while. You'll have lots of fun on the rides, and your body will burn off some calories. It's a win-win situation.

The same can't be said for your money. I would say this is probably the worst part about amusement parks. They will eat up your cash, fast! The spending starts before you even get there. Most of us don't live right next to Six Flags. So, you're gonna have to fill up that gas tank in your van. Parking is gonna set you back around $10, or so. You've gotta pay to get in the park, of course, so that will take some spending. The park doesn't allow outside food or drinks. So, once lunchtime hits, you'll have to buy meals for everyone. And it isn't going to be cost-effective. Theme park execs know that they can charge whatever they want for their food, because you won't be getting it anywhere else. Taking advantage of that, get ready to pay double for drinks, french fries, and pizza. The dollar menu? Try the $5 menu. Ouch.

After you're done munching on over-priced junk food, you're likely to pass by some other rides. But these aren't ordinary rides. Some of them strap you in to a cage connected to two towers by bungee ropes. It's like a giant sling-shot. Other rides will string you and a loved one together, and swing you back and forth, as if you were actually flying. These rides look great! But there's a catch: These rides don't come along with the tickets you initially purchased to get into the park. You're gonna have to pay an extra $10 a person if you want to experience these special rides. Either you cough up the dough, or you don't get to ride. While you're at it, don't forget to spend another $10 or more to own the dvd that shows off that girly scream you made on the ride.

You haven't seen the worst of it, yet. Sooner or later, you're gonna walk by a gift shop. Or worse, the gift shop will be built into the natural path of the park, so you can't avoid it at all! Everything in here is scam-elicous. Themed T-shirts for $20. Water bottles. Toys made from the park's mascot(s). Battery-operated mini-fans. Postcards. Doo-dads and trinkets. Just about any bit of useless junk you can think of is trying to get at every dollar bill in your wallet.

One other major part of money-spending in parks includes those devious games sprinkled throughout the park. At some point, you're bound to come upon a basketball game or a water-squirting game, showing off big stuffed animals of gargantuan proportions. They're just begging you to plunk down a few singles, and try to beat the game. But they always end up being just out of reach. $15 dollars later, and all you've got to show for it is some stupid inflatable hammer. And your brother won't stop whacking you in the head with it!

In general, spending money at theme parks is inevitable. And it is usually worth it, just for the unique sense of adventure and excitement. You can't find it anywhere else! Just be ready to pay an arm and a leg for it.

Another part of the theme park experience can include things like go-karts or water rides. Some parks make use of them, while others go with bumper cars, or ferris wheels, or other types of amusements. These provide variety in the park, offering a different kind of fun. Let's start with the go-karts. At worst, these things can be average rides that let you push a pedal, and go around a circle 3-4 times. Please tell me something: Why are the karts so old? They're always covered in rust, and sputter like some low rider dying in the junkyard. It's embarrassing. No matter, the better go-karts can surpass their humble appearances. These high-grade go-kart tracks feature tunnels, swirling platforms, and even let you swerve around giant complexes, almost like a roller-coaster. It can be great fun to race around these larger than life tracks, doing your best to get ahead of your best friend. Make sure he doesn't box you in! You've gotta beat him!

Raft rides can be a thrilling and refreshing part of a theme park. These should not be confused with the rafts you find on giant water slides in water parks. No, these rafts are just another part of the theme park, and coast down predetermined rapids and under gushing waterfalls. On a hot day, you pretty much have to ride them. Just remember that your clothes will end up getting wet, possibly soaked. But that shouldn't matter, right? It's not like people go the theme parks in a business suit. So, you and all your companions strap in, and ride the rapids. These things usually involve dark tunnels, unexpected blasts of water, and the aforementioned waterfalls. Funny thing about the raft rides, they're unpredictable. Your buddy might come off the ride unscathed, but you might end up getting stuck under the waterfall, leaving the ride completely drenched. Nothing feels weirder than squishy, sloshed gym shoes, eh?

Let's hope all that water doesn't interfere with that stamp on top of your left hand. After all, you need that to get into the park in the first place. I'm personally not a fan of those stamps. That ink is kind of garish, and can be sometimes itchy. Then it stays on your hand for a few days straight, until the skin on your hand dies and peels. The wristband option is the way to go, in my opinion. It's a nice little clip, right at the beginning of the park, then it stays on your wrist all day. Finally, when the time comes to remove it, all it takes is a quick little snip from some scissors or a knife. Maybe you can use your teeth, if you don't mind the dental damage. Sure, they make you look like you just came out of your local hospital, but they're a better option than those unsightly ink stamps.

Wristband, ink stamp, whatever. You need them to get into amusement parks. Amusement parks. Those wondrous, surreal landscapes. Some of the best memories that I have are related to them. Those memories showcase some of my greatest emotions, and remind me of the happiest days of my life. What is it about them that makes them so alluring to us? Why do we like them so much?

I can't say for sure. I guess it has to do with our human condition. As humans, we have a lot of problems to deal with on a regular basis. Real problems. Not just something simple, like losing the remote control for the tv, or making enough room for that last paper plate in the garbage can. Some problems are gigantic, and take up a lot of our thoughts. We can't help but think about them, almost constantly. We muse upon them. So, as humans, we seek amusement. Something to take us away from our problems. Give us the break we need so very badly.

Theme parks make for a great escape. They provide us with fun and adventure we could never experience in a regular setting. They're larger than life. For some, a dream come true. This is why they're known as amusement parks. They are places we can travel to. It's kind of like running away from home, in a way. But much better than that. We have a great time when we go, and create memories that will last a life time. Then, we can come home, ready to tackle any problems we left behind...As well as a few new problems, coming from our hurting finances. Ah well...

It is what it is.

- JC

Review: God of War (HD)

Genre: Action Adventure

System(s): PS3

Version reviewed: PS3

Release Date: November 17, 2009

Date of review: August 10, 2010

Developer(s): SCE Studios Santa Monica

Publisher: Sony

ESRB: M

Intro:

Ah yes, God of War. This is a game that doesn't really need an introduction. So, instead, let's focus on the specific version of this review. In 2009, it was decided that the first two God of War games would be re-released on the Playstation 3. These versions of the game would receive a graphical makeover, taking advantage of the PS3's added power. They would also gain a few added bonuses. Nothing major, but some behind-the-scenes work, and whatnot. However, the game's content would remain the same. Same levels, same story, same brutal gameplay.

I suppose the thought process behind this collection was to give PS3 owners a chance to play God of War one and two, if they had never owned a PS3 before. Then, they could give previous God of War fans a superior version to sink their teeth into. Also, Sony needed a way for PS3 owners to play these games, since they were kind enough to remove backwards compatibility from their system.

With that in mind, I will review the first game just as I've played it: the original gameplay, story, controls, audibles, and replayability. However, I will review the graphics based on their new standard, not based on the PS2. Seeing as I've never played any version of the game before, I hope to present an honest, unclouded view of the game, going past all of the hype.

Gameplay:

All of the gameplay in God of War is comprised of either combat, puzzles, or platforming. I put them in that order to demonstrate which is done the best and which is done the worst. When it comes to the combat system, it's not quite deep, but it has plenty of variety. Your main weapons are the Blades of Chaos. These function pretty well, and can become the best weapons in the game, once you've powered them up. They're quite strong, have good reach, and are very useful for crowd control.

Combos are executed in a straight-forward manner. Simply string along three-to-five buttons in a sequence, and you'll end up making a combo. These combos are completely necessary if you wanna beat this game. A criticism I've heard before is “to win in God of War mash the square button, and that's it.” Trust me, this isn't true. I've died enough times to know that using the light attack will only get you so far. One must take into account light attacks, heavy attacks, simultaneous button presses, chaining, juggling, grabs, and sometimes, all of the above during a single fight. Then, throw in dodging and blocking. Ha! Not so simple now, is it?

Magical attacks add some variety and depth to the swordplay. There are four different attacks, each mapped to a button on the d-pad. Poseidon's Rage creates a circle around the player, electrocuting enemies. Medusa's Gaze turns enemies to stone. Zeus's Fury allows players to create lightning bolts like arrows (and isn't terribly useful). Finally, the Army of Hades allows the player to summon undead souls to fight enemies for them. All of the attacks are stylish and impressive (minus the lightning). The only other element added to combat is an extra sword, useful for close-quarters-combat, and specific combos.

A reward for combat is provided in the game's upgrade system. Your weapons and magic can be improved by upgrading them with the souls of the enemies you kill. These souls, represented by a red bar on your HUD, can also be found in many different treasure chests lying about the world. Upgrading adds a bit of longevity to the game, as do the collectables. Yes, there are little trinkets lying around in other treasure chests for you to find. Some increase health and some increase magic. There are also a few keys that will unlock a secret treasure room, but those keys are rare, and hard to find.

Something that God of War games are famous for are their use of quick-time-events. These are points in the game where the circle button initiates a sequence of timed button presses, in order to complete a strong, and often gory execution event. These are used quite often, and they include button mashing, button sequences, and control stick twisting. While they aren't as annoying as some might think, the sequences do have a tendency to obscure the action, and can be frustrating when they are failed. Once failed, the sequence has to start all over again, which leads to repetition.

Another frustration resulting from combat is a few areas in the game where enemies are capable of using multiple attacks in a row that the player is unable to recover from. Being stun-locked in place is annoying, and leads to unappealing, unfair gameplay. Now, to be fair, the player is capable of avoiding such a sequence if he dodges it before it begins. But, playing on the normal difficulty, I found myself getting sucked in again and again. I found this to be a minor problem of the game.

A different aspect of the game is a number of areas that make use of puzzles that impede your progress. They must be solved if the player wishes to continue. In general, the puzzles are kind of fun, even if they seem somewhat out of place in the world of the game. There are a few that will test your patience, however. To give an example of an out of place puzzle, let's look at a certain part of the game, probably just a little after the middle of the game. There is a cage on a wall to the north, obscured by oddly-shaped pillars. These pillars must be fitted together in order to lower the cage. What seems so strange is how they are shaped. They look like Tetris pieces, for the most part. And so, a game featuring a great warrior and bloody gameplay...forces you to play Tetris. Hmm...Nevertheless, puzzles alter the pace of the game, which is mostly a good thing.

Then, there are some sections that make use of straight-up platforming. These display a lack of attention and quality, compared to other facets of the game. Platforming in this game is unforgiving, and requires a level of precision that the game itself doesn't fully provide. This leads to quite a few deaths that would seem unfair. In particular, I'd like to address the edges of platforms, and ledges that the player must grab onto. They both handle quite poorly. It's as if every one of the edges and ledges are made of ice, and the player's hands and feet are covered in oil. There were several instances where I would be within a perfect distance of a ledge, and should have been able to grab it. Instead, I would slip right past it, in a rather glitch-like manner. I won't even bother to mention a certain section that comes late in the game. It's an infuriating abomination, making the player fall over and over again.

Of course, platforming isn't broken, per se. There are lots of places where scaling walls and climbing on/swinging from ropes is necessary. All of these places worked quite well, and never caused a problem. Likewise, landing on platforms and grabbing ledges ends up being quite successful on more occasions than not. Despite that, before I play the sequels, I hope to see less of a focus upon platforming, or at least an increase in attention to detail and mechanics. As if that will do me any good.

One aspect of the game contributes problems to every part of the gameplay, whether it's combat, puzzling, or platforming. That aspect is the always-isometric camera angle. It is impossible to control the camera in this game. Instead, it was decided that the camera would always be fixed in some corner of the room, where it could display all of the action at once. This works, in theory, but shows many flaws in execution. At one point, I could be under a doorway, fighting a skeleton warrior in front of me. Lets say that I go to attack him. This attack brings me a little bit forward. Suddenly, I'm in the next room, and the camera has rotated 70 degrees in order to compensate. What was once “forward” is now “almost left.” Now, my attack is missing, and the warrior can retaliate with a sword swing to my shoulder. This is problematic enough for combat. Imagine how much more so when it comes to precision platforming. Ugh...At least the camera does a good job of setting up some epic wide-shot angles.

Score: 7.5 out of 10

Story:

A war begins in ancient Greece. Ares, the God of War, has come down from Mount Olympus, to destroy the city of Athens. Kratos, a feared warrior from Sparta, is sent to stop him, on behalf of the other gods. It's a rather simple premise, containing a few twists and turns. However, the story gets extra points for a particular part at the end, which I won't spoil. But know this; a story filled with blood, boobs and the most manly of men somehow presents a very touching element to the story. Don't ask me how Santa Monica studios did it, just play and find out.

A great aspect of the story is the setting it creates. An ancient Greece, containing the flawed, complex greek gods is perfect for video game exploitation. It's filled with wonder, character, violence, excitement, variety, magic, nightmares, sex, and fame. What's cool, is that the framework of the world is set up, and yet the game takes liberties with it, in order to serve the story. Santa Monica Studios gets a thumbs-up for taking risks, instead of sticking to the story and characters with boring rigidness.

Score: 8 out of 10

Controls:

God of War is all about the button presses. It's a good thing that it works so well. Every attack is easily accessible. Jumping works without a hitch. Blocking and dodging come naturally. Magic, mapped to the L2 button, is just far enough to avoid misfire, but is still easy to pull off, since it's just the one button, or L2 + another button for higher strength. Now, the success or failure of these controls in the game is a different story. But, that's a gameplay problem, the controls are not to blame.

Score: 9.5 out of 10

Graphics:

View this section of the review while repeating the following: “This used to be a PS2 game.” Okay? Good. The graphics are a mixed bag of good and bad. Kratos, and some of the enemies look almost respectable by today's standards. Likewise, some of the cut scenes have been altered, and given a glossy, new coat of polygons. The most impressive memory of the game that I have is seeing Ares for the first time. As a gigantic god, he towers over an army, making them look like ants. It was pretty cool. I can't imagine how awesome that must have been in 2005.

Other parts of the game haven't fared so well. Character models for NPCs are almost comical now. Every time I see them, I think of a scarecrow. Textures seem to be plastered onto certain enemies and backgrounds, without looking believable. Not to mention the water effects. I'm a sucker for good water effects, so I'm sorry to say that this game doesn't have any.

Score: 6.5 out of 10

Audibles:

Music:

If I could describe the music in one word, it would be “epic.” Then I would add some exclamation marks and ones for emphasis (j/k). A resounding choir sings in latin in the background during most of the fights. They even go so far as to sing “KRATOS” every once in a while. You know a game character is awesome when his name is chanted by an orchestrated choir. The music perfectly compliments the game, and is always appropriate. If it has any flaws, it would probably be the fact that the score isn't very memorable, outside of the game itself. Don't get me wrong, it's really great, but you probably won't be humming any of the epic numbers after you've beaten the game.

Score: 9.5 out of 10

Sound:

This is another aspect of the game that fares well. Kratos yells, grunts, and smashes. Enemies roar, bite and die. Levers click, gears turn, and harpies shriek. Outside of 2 specific examples, I can't think of anything to complain about. Example one: Kratos is trying to walk across some wooden beams, but harpies are flying around him and halting his progress. He lets the player know by saying “I'll never get across with these harpies.” Then he says it again. Then a third time, and so on. Example 2: Every time Kratos pushes a crate, you are able to charge up his power, in order to kick the crate a certain distance. Every time you kick it, Kratos lets out a gruff “HAW!” The sound begins to wear on you after a while.

Score: 9 out of 10

Replayability:

Using just the game itself as a standard, and not the entire collection, I would say that the level of replayability is fair. After completing the game, several bonuses unlock, including a challenge straight from the gods. A new difficulty unlocks, as well, which provides it's own set of unlockables, including secret cut scenes and special costumes for Kratos. However, the game itself is quite linear, and doesn't allow room for much experimentation. Most players will find which combos work best, and which magic is the most important to upgrade. A second play through the game isn't going to change their mind.

Score: Medium

Outro:

Many would say that God of War is over-rated. Is it? I would say, “yes, but only slightly.” The experience is very good. Think of it as the video game equivalent of a roller-coaster. It's really fun the first time you ride it, and it can be just as good the next time you come to the amusement park. But riding it over and over everyday would make you bored, or even sick. Still, it's easy to see why this franchise has done so well during these 5 years. Good attention to detail, and compelling gameplay has created a fun, iconic adventure worth playing.

Score Card:

Gameplay: 7.5 out of 10

Story: 8 out of 10

Controls: 9.5 out of 10

Graphics: 6.5 out of 10

Audibles: 9.5 out of 10

Replayability: Medium

FINAL SCORE: 9 out of 10

Review: Aliens vs. Predator

Genre: First Person Shooter

System(s): Xbox 360, PS3, PC

Version reviewed: Xbox 360

Release Date: February 16, 2010

Date of review: August 5, 2010

Developer(s): Rebellion Developments

Publisher: Sega

ESRB: M

Intro:

This game is the latest in a series of games trying to capture the feeling of being an Alien or a Predator (and sometimes, a human). There were some games made for the SNES. Some made for the Atari Jaguar. There was an arcade game, as well. They all did different things with these guys. However, if my sources are correct (meaning, internet forums), the most popular AvP games of the past were created for PC. This recent entry in the AvP franchise tries it's best to re-capture that popularity and bring it to us console players. And, for the most part, I think you'll be surprised at how well it succeeds.

Gameplay:

Singleplayer:

Gameplay for the individual player is split into 3 separate campaigns. This includes the Marine, The Alien, and The Predator. Each campaign has a different feel, corresponding well to each character. They also share a similar amount of play time, each lasting about 4 hours (with the Marine lasting the longest).

The Marine's campaign plays like an average FPS, with some twinges of survival horror added for good measure. While it isn't the flashiest of the campaigns, it is the most thrilling. As a Marine, you're not quite vulnerable. Yet, on the other hand, you're never truly safe when an enemy is nearby. This safety is achieved thanks to your typical, but functional assortment of guns. If you've played some other first person shooters, it should come as no surprise that you can use a pistol, shotgun, assault rifle, scoped rifle (AKA Sniper Rifle), and a mini-gun. What's nice about them is that each gun comes with a secondary fire. The Pistol can fire in bursts of 3-rounds, the shotgun can pump out 2 shells as once, the mini-gun can switch between manual and auto-aim, and so on.

Using the weapons, a flashlight, and some spooky ambiance, the Marine's campaign creates an unoriginal, but tense atmosphere. Expect to jump when an Alien pops out from inside a vent, and be prepared to sprint down dozens of dark tunnels and caves. But things aren't always dank and cramped. There is a sprawling jungle to explore (if you can count linear paths in the jungle as exploration). Speaking of exploration, to get the most out of the game, be sure to keep an eye out for the plethora of audio diaries laying about the levels. Each one adds another detail to the story, and collecting them all yields in-game rewards.

The variety in the Marine's cannon fodder is quite sparse. Before the end credits roll, you will have killed warrior Aliens, spitting Aliens, facehuggers (baby Aliens that violate your mouth's innocence), combat androids, two bosses that I won't spoil, and one single, solitary Predator. Big whoop, I say. Might as well get used to it, since the Marine's campaign is the longest.

The Alien, meanwhile, has the least amount of time to kill. This specific Alien, named Number 6, plays much more like a stealth game, with less concentration on horror (despite the look on your victim's faces). Aliens like the dark, and you will too. The player must stay hidden, most of the time, and pull off secretive, gory kills on marines and combat androids. These kills come from your only weapons, your claws and your spear-like tail. Other Alien tasks include harvesting helpless civilians, by letting a facehugger get close and personal with them, as well as finding and destroying canisters that contain the royal jelly of the Alien queen. Keep in mind that reaping a full harvest of civilians and destroying every single canister will yield in-game rewards.

If you're looking for level variety, prepare to be disappointed. The Alien (as well as the Predator) runs through the exact same levels that the Marine marched in, albeit it in a mixed order. The only variety found is a few alternating paths, as well as the Alien's ability to climb walls and ceilings. Yes, you will be spending much of your time clinging to a ceiling fan, or a cliff-side wall. This adds a good amount of diversity compared to the average FPS (and some disorienting camera angles, as well, more on that below).

Finally, the Predator seems to be a nice blending of the two play styles. While stealth is an important part in his campaign, you can also get away with brute force every once in a while. (If you've ever played Chronicles of Riddick, or Batman: Arkham Asylum, you'll know what I'm talking about.) Making use of his trademark ability, the Predator is able to cloak himself, becoming almost invisible. Once he is unseen, he utilizes special vision modes, like thermal vision, or an alien-specific vision. Either one makes it easy to find your prey. Once found, the Predator can make a kill with a Plasma Caster (a simple targeting laser gun), proximity mines, a spinning disk that works like a boomerang, or the Combi Stick (which functions like a sniper rifle). Take note, the Plasma Caster and the proximity mine both use energy, which needs to be collected from a nearby power node. However, if the Predator wishes to gain the highest honor in combat, he must step in close, and preform a trophy kill. This often leads to severed heads, and exposed spinal columns.

While you travel in the same environments for a third time, be on the lookout for collectable trophy belts, left behind by past companions. A full set of them will lead to an in-game reward. At least each level has a different feel, due to the Predator's ability to leap quite high. Jumping from tree branch to tree branch is the best way to get a good view of your surroundings. It's also pretty enjoyable, and shows off new areas in each level.

The Predator will have to contend with marines, aliens, combat androids, and something special before he has completed his mission. While terrorizing a group of dim-witted marines is always a good time, dealing with everything else becomes more of a hassle. Aliens can always be shot, but you will typically have to defeat them using melee attacks. Following the mechanics of a rock-paper-scissors match, you must attack the Alien by either stopping his heavy attack with a quick one of your own, or breaking his guard with a heavy attack. While this employs a certain amount of welcome strategy, it also tends to bog down the experience, once you become surrounded by three Aliens or more. Combat androids need to be softened up before they fall prey to your marine tactics. After all is said and done, everything becomes formulaic. And yet, it never wears out it's welcome.

Score: 7 out of 10

Multiplayer:

AvP has a typical assortment of competitive multiplayer modes. It doesn't do anything new, but, does it really need to? I don't think so. Anyways, most modes are devoted to the deathmatch gametype. Each type is split into either a species-specific mode, or a mixed-species mode. Everyone can be against each other, or placed in teams, which may or may not be linked to species. Each species has their entire arsenal at their disposal, so get ready for flying grenades, head bites, and spinning discs of doom.

AvP's multiplayer is at its best when everything is mixed up. There's no better way to be plopped right in the middle of a harrowing scenario worthy of the movies these things came from. It's quite common for a marine to be silently creeping along a dark passageway, until his radar starts sounding off. An opposing player on the Alien team will give a spine-chilling hiss. In a panicked state, the marine will start sweeping his flashlight behind him, and along the walls. Unfortunately, he will have forgotten to check the ceiling, and will instantly get spiked from behind, as he falls prey to the Alien player. Add 1 point to the Alien team...until the Predator uncloaks, and blasts the Alien to pieces with his Plasma Caster. Add 1 point to the Predator team. The games of cat and mouse work pretty well, when lag isn't present (which, unfortunately, it is, half of the time).

Disappointingly, another common multiplayer scenario is to become the victim of what some players refer to as “the conga line.” For example, an Alien will sneak up on a marine, and start up the insta-kill sequence from behind. Meanwhile, the Predator will wait patiently for the killing animation to end, and then start up an insta-kill sequence of his own. And then the Alien's teammate will come around, and start up his, and so on and so on. It creates these comical lines of death, that are really not in character for a game such as this! But, that's how you gotta play if you wanna win, right? Sigh...

Arena variety is done quite well. The player will see at 6 different maps, all available to every mode. The lack of levels is hard to understand, but at least each place looks cool and plays rather well. Many arenas are altered versions of singleplayer areas, with a couple original locales added. An ancient Predator temple, a dripping, sloppy Alien cave, a spread-out jungle, and more to be found.

A specific mode that deserves mention is called Infestation. In it, a group of marines is placed in an arena. Suddenly, a random player is chosen to become an alien. The other marines must stick together, as the single Alien player does his best to separate a marine from the pack. Once successful, that player will join the Alien team, and so on and so forth. Soon, only one marine will be left standing against the Alien onslaught. Not an easy task, I assure you.

The only co-op option available to players is a horde-type of survival mode. A group of four marines must survive a never-ending assault of Aliens. Team work is paramount, here, if you wish to earn a respectable spot on the online leaderboards. Once again, Rebellion plays it safe here, offering a respectable, but rather forgettable co-op experience.

Score: 6.5 out of 10

Story:

The tale that AvP has to tell is, for the most part, a retread of many of the themes and plot-points of the Alien and Predator movies. It boils down to this: The human corporation known as Weyland-Yutani has found a planet full of Aliens. The corporation immediately begins a colony on the planet, with Mr. Weyland himself leading the colony. Once there, they capture several subjects, and begin breeding them and testing them upon unsuspecting employees and colonists. One Alien subject displays remarkable skills and ferocity, given the designation of Number Six, this Alien will become the one that the player is given control of. Six soon breaks free (as the Aliens tend to do), and lets her fellow Aliens run a muck of the place. Cue in the marine rescue squad!

As the squad comes into orbit of the planet in their space shuttle, another space ship watches from afar, hiding itself with a cloaking device. This ship is full of Predators, of course. It just so happens that this planet is a sort of training/battle ground for Predators, and is seen as sacred ground. Sacred ground that is currently being violated by some pathetic humans. And so, an attack is placed on one of the marine ships, destroying it in one blast. The second marine ship immediately deploys its crew, including an elite squad of bug-killing marines. This squad has received a brand new rookie. This rookie is going to take the role of the protagonist in the marine campaign. He soon gets separated from the squad, and it's up to the player to reunite him with his team.

After they touch down, a group of young Predators are deployed to the surface. After training with the elders, they are tasked with eliminating the offending humans, and to also destroy Aliens, their most worth of prey. One such Predator is the one players will be controlling throughout the Predator campaign. As a whole, the story doesn't surprise, and works as a generic, but serviceable vehicle for the gameplay.

Score: 6.5 out of 10

Controls:

With 3 different character types, one has to deal with 3 separate control schemes. Out of them all, the Marine fairs the best. His is a simple dual-stick setup, taken from any number of well-known first person shooters. X is reload, jump with A, fire your gun with the right trigger...you know, the usual.

The Predator has the second best controls out of the 3 to choose from. While a few of them are shared with the Marine, some of the most important controls are attached to the left trigger and the Y button. Using the left trigger brings up an aiming reticule, with which the Predator can aim a a precise jump. He then activates the jump with A. Out of the many jumps you will attempt, I would say about 85% of those jumps succeed. The failed attempts will come from either a jump that's too far, or finicky level-based quirks. This isn't a problem for the most part, but the few sections in the campaign that feature heavy platforming will cause the player some frustration.

The Alien is “blessed” with the most unique of the control schemes. Aliens will be sprinting almost constantly by holding down the left-stick. While sprinting isn't unique to Aliens, they are able to travel the quickest. They will also be using every climbable surface available to them, which means there will be a lot of walls and ceilings to scale. Transferring from one surface to another is accomplished by default by holding down the right trigger. As a good thing, this control scheme gives players unrivaled freedom in where they can go and how fast they can get there. As a bad thing, this control scheme causes the most confusion, and displays the largest learning curve. Sooner or later, some random bump in the geometry is going to send the player's view spiraling out of control. This forces a pause in gameplay, as the player has to slowly re-adjust their point of view, in order to get a grip on things. This wouldn't be so bad, if it didn't make the player a sitting duck. More than a few online players have taken advantage of my dizziness, gaining a winning point at my personal expense. Take note, if you're one of those people who have experienced motion sickness from first person shooters, the Alien will probably make you toss your cookies!

Score: 6.5 out of 10

Graphics:

Here is an area in which AvP can shine (pun somewhat intended). This game looks better than average for most first person shooters. Jungle foliage is believably tender. Alien hives have a grotesque moistness about them. Metal hallways gleam under harsh florescent lights. The player character models are also better than status quo. Aliens glisten in the dark, Predators look agile, yet powerful, and marines march in an acceptably straight line. NPCs and enemies don't have the same level of attention, but are passable. The only other graphical matter of note is the Predator's use of thermal vision. It's rather prominent, and looks appealing.

Score: 8.5 out of 10

Audibles:

Music:

The score for AvP is decent, but not memorable. You'll be dealing with rousing scores of common orchestration and ambient mood sets. About the only things that pops out are the plentiful examples of Predator-esque bongo drums. They add a tropical excitement to the music.

Score: 6 out of 10

Sound:

The sound work is authentic, and perfectly compliments the game. Everyone sounds perfect, from the screaming marine, to the triumphant Predator, roaring in success, as his Alien prey lets loose it's dying squeal. Something that Alien/Predator buffs will appreciate is the direct translation of sounds from the movie. The marine's pulse rifle makes the exact same noise as it did in the past movies, as does the cloaking Predator. This game demonstrates a quality attention to detail, as far as sound goes.

Score: 8.5 out of 10

Replayability:

A normal gamer isn't going to spend an abnormal amount of time with this game. Each campaign is enjoyable the first time, but returning to them would be quite redundant. The gameplay never changes, and doesn't really allow for experimentation. As for multiplayer, the online rankings system doesn't hold any special level of appeal than other games. Unless you're a die hard fan of the movies, a perfectionist looking for every collectable, or you have no better games to play, this game will probably be getting returned/traded-in all too soon.

Score: Medium

Outro:

Aliens vs. Predator offers the best playable experience to Aliens/Predators fans available. However, that isn't too big of a deal. For a gamer that isn't particularly invested in the setting or characters, this game doesn't offer much of anything you haven't seen before. The experience is fairly enjoyable, but the game doesn't do enough to set itself apart from the pack of first person shooters roaming the market. Perhaps a sequel may appear down the line, which will correct this game's mistakes, and do a better job at setting itself apart. But, you know...it is what it is.

Score Card:

Gameplay: 7 out of 10

Story: 6.5 out of 10

Controls: 6.5 out of 10

Graphics: 8.5 out of 10

Audibles: 8.5 out of 10

Replayability: Medium

FINAL SCORE: 7.5 out of 10

Introduction

My view on: Why I'm blogging, and why you should care

Hello there. Welcome to the first article from my new blog. I'm it's creator, Ivan Divino Jr. But you can call me JC. I'm 22 years old, and I live in northeast Iowa. Glamorous, I know. I'll be using this entry to tell you what you're getting into. So pay attention, and watch me go!

This blog serves one major purpose: To encourage and develop my writing skills. Every article that I create is going to increase my vocabulary, sharpen my wit, and place a few more creases in my gray matter. And I'm gonna do it by using my views and reviews as the subject. (Remember the title of my blog? Yeah, now you get it!)

“What are the views and reviews about, JC?” Well, they're about me. My perception of the world around me. My understanding of how things work. My stance on important issues, or not-so-important issues. As for the reviews, they could be about anything. But they'll mostly be about video games. Why is that?

As I told you, I'm working on my writing ability. You see, I've got a goal to achieve. I'm trying to become a journalist. But not just any kind of news hack! I'm doing my best to break into professional video game journalism. (So, if you happen to be a prospective employer, searching for eager young bloods, stop reading and contact me pronto by email, at jcvgluvr@yahoo.com!)

For as long as I can remember, I have loved video games. I still do. Ever since I watched my mom play the original Super Mario Bros. on the Nintendo Entertainment System, I was hooked. I had to play. Get to the next level. Beat the next boss. Find every secret. In other words, video games are my earthly passion.

But it's not all about the games. Believe it or not, there's more to this world than flashing lights and multicolored buttons. This is where my views come in. To expand my horizons, I'll create separate articles that detail my opinion on dozens of real-world subjects. Homosexuality, computers, television shows, the outdoors, my personal history, love, friends, sea monkeys, or pretty much anything you can think of.

Let's be honest. I'm not going to become a gaming journalist. At least, not by myself. I'm going to need your help (and a little help from the Man upstairs). “But, what can I do?” you might ask. I'll tell you! If you've got connections to the industry, you can contact me and hook me up! If you're a professional writer, you can impress me with your knowledge. Even if you're a regular guy, like me, there's tons of ways you can help. Leave a comment on an article. Subscribe to me, if possible. Send me a link to interesting info. Have a debate with me. Give me some amateur advice, or possible ideas for topics to use in the future.

Hold on, wait a second. I almost forgot...we're on the internet. The most cynical, selfish place in existence (you know it's true, don't lie). What you're probably asking is “Why should I give a $@*7 about this n00b?” Here's a good reason: You and me are completely average. We can't make it on our own. We gotta help each other, if we're ever going to get anywhere in life. Face it, you don't have anything better to do. Do something productive for 5 minutes, and give a guy a helping hand. Don't worry, that youtube video isn't going anywhere.

Well, that's all for now. Hopefully, you've got an idea about me, and what this blog is all about. The legacy of Bombastic Views and Reviews starts here, and I couldn't be more excited. So, stay tuned, and let's see where this road goes. But, what road is it?

It is what it is.

- JC